10:21 AM: Wake up, at the precise minute as you inexplicably have done for the past two years.
10:25: Reduce yourself to pain-induced tears as you attempt to put contacts in, then spend the next 15 minutes struggling to brush your hair, which has reached the consistency of a hedge in that endearing way it has.
10:3o: Make toast and try to become interested in the sports section, since the rest of your family has taken all the good parts of the paper.
10:45: Try to throw away toast crusts without your mother noticing, then lurk around kitchen for half an hour trying to decide what to do with yourself and also whether to have something else to eat.
11:15: Start a drawing. Finish it, then mourn your lack of artistic skills.
12:00: Take a shower, then spend 17 million years trying to get your hair to dry right.
12:45: Plow through a book, occupying 23 different positions as you do so.
2:00: Watch three episodes of Malcolm in the Middle on Netflix.
3:00: Lie on bed and watch ceiling fan spin while listening to music because there is nothing else to do.
4:35: When iPod dies, turn on radio and continue watching ceiling fan .
5:25: After hearing “Heart Attack” for the third time, lose it and turn off radio.
5:27: Ponder your pathetic and directionless life as an organism born to die in a world run by pieces of paper until dinnertime.
6:00: Feign interest in your dad’s business deals until dinner is over.
6:45: Watch a documentary with your dad about either sea life or a WWII battle to “keep your mind sharp over the summer”
8:00: Read for a while, then stand in front of bathroom mirror and nitpick your appearance until your mother comes in and tells you to remember that it’s an age thing and you’ll grow out of it soon and you’re only fourteen so don’t worry about your future etc.
8:30: Go on the computer. Nag yourself into trying to write a blog post, then spend a bit too much time on tumblr and go to bed.
9:45: Brain goes crazy. OMG SO MUCH ENERGY YOU KNOW WHAT LET’S GO ROB THE POST OFFICE OR BUILD A SPACESHIP OR KILL SOMEONE OR OH I DON’T KNOW BUT WOW THERE’S SO MUCH TO DO DANG TOO BAD IT’S DARK OUT BECAUSE YOU COULD RULE THE WORLD, YOU KNOW THIS IS A PERFECT TIME TO HAVE TONS OF IDEAS!! I’LL JUST MAKE SURE YOU FORGET THEM ALL BY MORNING, HOW’S THAT SOUND?
10:30: Be struck by the strange urge to clean.
11:15: Sit back in your sparkling clean room and vow that tomorrow, you will do something different.
1:00 AM: Jerk awake and remember that you forgot to take your contacts out.